Thursday, 27 September 2012

The One Where I felt the Pressure

Yesterday was one day I felt the pressure of being a full time working mumma.

We're heading into the busy season at my work, so ive been under the pump for a few weeks now.

Yesterday was no exception.

Its also the one day Ace is in child care and this one day he wasnt well at all.

When i dropped him off, he was fine. I was told he ate his breakfast and had a play but then it all went downhill and he became grizzly and really lethargic.

So I got the dreaded call from child care that I needed to collect him.

My instant reaction was 'No, not today. I wonder if he's really that bad?'

Then i got an attack of the mummy guilts.

I rushed off as soon as i could. (Im lucky my boss is so flexible when it comes to kids) and when I reached child care, my heart sank. He was lying in a carers arms just sooo upset. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

You know when you were sick at school, lying in the sick bay and then your mum (or dad) would come and you would just start crying from happiness/relief that a familiar, comforting face was there?

Well thats what Ace did. So i gathered him in my arms and took him home.

Still not sure what was wrong with him. Maybe just one of those days. We snuggled on the couch and I was just so grateful I was his mummy and I was able to be there for him. But i couldnt help but think of all the work waiting for me when i returned today.

At the end of the day, I need to be there for my son. A son who doesnt know that his Mummy has another job. He just thinks im his world and I need to be there for him.

Does anyone else feel this way? Conflicted between work and...well.. I